i was living under the fear of practicalities & hard realities of life. the uncertainty of life was producing fear in me. i was feeling weak & helpless in front of the realities of life. i was feeling incompetent in front of life. i was thinking that i m not capable enough to face the realities & hardships of life. i was fearing that what i have today will be taken away from me anytime. i was fearing i will not be able to keep the thing i love, with me in future..........as the practical view of life was directing me to think this way. but then one thought came in my mind & it, to some extent, reduced my fear & anxiety.
i thought that why m i so afraid? i m a good person who tries to follow the path shown by god. but then why i m so afraid of the future? And then i understood that i have lost that absolute trust in god. i have lost trust in the "order in life". i have started feeling that this world is inorderly. but this is not true.........because even the most practical & realistic peoples in the world also have belief in the existence of the supreme power. most of the people in the world, worship one god or the other. all of them believe that there is some third power that controls over the working of this world. then who m i to believe that there is no order in this world...........& then i got this realization that i have some how distanced myself from god. my belief in the existence of god has somehow reduced. may be because i have started seeing life very closely & with a realistic perspective. but no realist can deny the most universal concept...........that is GOD...... Even if i see the world with a realist's perspective, it must not stop me from believing in the ultimate power & will of the god. And if this is true........then i don't understand how can god make me undergo the same pain again & that too when i have asked that thing from him & have asked him to take care of me. may be the fault is mine. i have sent him confused signals but now i have stopped doing it. now i have made my signals very clear..........& have prayed from god. and i will believe that god has not made that thing for me only when god will completely prove me that.......... but till then i will continue to feel what i m feeling & will continue praying from god.the solution of fear is -------"come close to god & feel his presence". his closeness removes every fear & every pain.
i thought that why m i so afraid? i m a good person who tries to follow the path shown by god. but then why i m so afraid of the future? And then i understood that i have lost that absolute trust in god. i have lost trust in the "order in life". i have started feeling that this world is inorderly. but this is not true.........because even the most practical & realistic peoples in the world also have belief in the existence of the supreme power. most of the people in the world, worship one god or the other. all of them believe that there is some third power that controls over the working of this world. then who m i to believe that there is no order in this world...........& then i got this realization that i have some how distanced myself from god. my belief in the existence of god has somehow reduced. may be because i have started seeing life very closely & with a realistic perspective. but no realist can deny the most universal concept...........that is GOD...... Even if i see the world with a realist's perspective, it must not stop me from believing in the ultimate power & will of the god. And if this is true........then i don't understand how can god make me undergo the same pain again & that too when i have asked that thing from him & have asked him to take care of me. may be the fault is mine. i have sent him confused signals but now i have stopped doing it. now i have made my signals very clear..........& have prayed from god. and i will believe that god has not made that thing for me only when god will completely prove me that.......... but till then i will continue to feel what i m feeling & will continue praying from god.the solution of fear is -------"come close to god & feel his presence". his closeness removes every fear & every pain.
